As we get older, it becomes more and more difficult to have the hundreds of friends we seemingly had through school and university. This has its pros and cons. A smaller group of friends generally means the opportunity to build deeper, more meaningful connections. But in your twenties it can be daunting feeling like you’ve gone from a popular socialite to having only a handful of true friends. One of the most difficult parts of this transition is knowing when it’s time to cut someone loose. With the fast pace of modern life and the stresses that come with it, we can’t afford to spend time and effort on friendships that leave us feeling anxious and drained. But have you taken the time to be really honest with yourself about which relationships fall into that category? Here are 3 signs I’ve noticed that mean it might be time to reconsider how much time you spend with someone.
1. They make you feel like crap. Maybe you’ve been friends for a long time. Maybe you’ve had some great adventures together. But this particular friend makes you feel like crap. It might be that they never take as much of an interest in your life as you do theirs. Or they’re constantly putting you down and passing it off as ‘banter’. Or they somehow always make you feel like you’ve done something to piss them off despite their assurances you haven’t. To steal a phrase from the dating world, maybe they’re just not that into you. Whatever it is, it can be extremely hard to admit to yourself that perhaps this so called friend isn’t worth your time. Our natural reaction is to try harder and harder, especially if it’s someone we’ve had a good relationship with in the past but, ultimately you’ll just wear yourself out…and for what? After all, this kind of social rejection – or social pain – is processed by the brain in the same way as physical pain. It actually hurts us physically to be treated like this by a friend. Why not focus your time on friendships that don’t make you feel like you’re not enough as you are. Continue reading “3 Signs That Your Friendship is Over”